Friday, December 1, 2017

World AIDS Day 2017

December 1, 2017, another WORLD AIDS DAY and I am still here. I never thought I would see the 21st century, let alone 17 years into it.  Having been diagnosed with HIV in 1988 makes me a long term survivor. I have not only survived this disease but I have survived innumerable deaths of friends to this horrible disease. I've also survived the death of my grandparents and my mother. Maybe someday I will understand.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017


I am a gay man and I let the monsters in high school run me off.  Needless to say, I don't have a reunion to attend, but through Facebook, I have reconnected with a few of my old high school friends. The monsters (either real or perceived to be real) followed me for several years until I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to do something. I thought suicide was the only option, but thankfully, I even screwed that up. Today, I am completely out of the closet, I am clean and sober and I’m married to a wonderful man. It amazes me sometimes how many of us survived. I'm glad I did and I’m glad you survived as well.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

The AIDS Memorial

There is a new (to me) Instagram account called The AIDS Memorial (@theaidsmemorial) and this  is my reaction to following them on Instagram.
I can't even explain what reading all of the posts on Instagram has done for me. I've been living with HIV/AIDS now for over 29 years and I had forgotten. I had forgotten what the 80's and 90's were like when I watched so many friends die. I can't even begin to name them all but little by little I am having memories return because of the stories you are sharing on Instagram. Finally, with some of the memories I can actually smile. I am remembering a lot of things and not just the death of ones I cared for. 

Why am I still here? God only knows. After being diagnosed I got clean and sober and that completely changed my life. I was able to care for others whose parents/families had abandoned them.  We had an AIDS hospice where I lived and I worked there. I cared for men, woman and children from just months old to 80 years old, learning something from each of them.

I guess you could say I am one of the lucky ones. I am a white male and I  understand what it means to have unearned privilege.  I've add access to medications and the best healthcare possible. I now work in research and hope to help in some small way in finding a cure for this disease.

Live well and Be beautiful